I want to tell you how I learned the ways of a happy life, the ways of truth.

First I want to assure you that I don’t consider myself to be perfect like I don’t think any person is perfect.

I consider myself very happy and appreciate my life and enlightenment due to my early in life decisions of being loyal to the true values of life no matter what the truth would be.

 

 

 

I always observed and philosophized about life in all its aspects since I was a kid, and would best describe myself as an observer and fighter for truth. Humbleness and loyalty to the truth at the cost of egoistic pursuits is what brought me to see things clearly and get this remaining feeling of peace, happiness and freedom of fear deep inside, my soft place to fall, untouchable by external factors caused by egoistic acts.

I am not talking about this egoistic feeling of “I am right and every one else are idiots” which is the characteristic of the egoistic and fearful behavior and way of thinking. I talk about loving unconditionally without doing it for egoistic sakes but for the mere sake of wanting to follow truth and the universal laws we thrive best with, lain out for us by our creator, the source of life and being (use what ever name you like and feel comfortable with). These are the same laws that secure our happiness, but unfortunately the same unwritten laws that people are free to break.

This leads me to mention another important basic factor for happiness: To recognize our freedom to make a difference and decide the outcome of our lives. To take responsibility and recognize our freedom might at first seem to be a big and impossible task but the truth is that this decision is the one that gives us complete freedom and thereby happiness. It is the imprisonment of the individual caused by the convictions of being a slave, which brings so much frustration and despair with it.

This tendency to act like victims without control of ones life and slaves of circumstances (one might call it to be deterministic in ones angle to life) is well reflected in the overindulgence of drugs and alcohol, or other addictive behavior including ludo mania, overeating and all the kinds of obsessive behavior you can think of.

Not to be slave doesn’t mean to be controlling towards all other people, this is just another obsession and attempt to control circumstances that in the first place we don’t need to control and furthermore this idea of controlling just leads to an endless row of obsessions with control.  I can think of two kinds of “slave mentalities”, 1) those who believe we are pieces of a coincidental puzzle and 2) those who believe everything is predetermined or not within our power to change. Usually people are not aware of this deep conviction they have. They usually hope and think they can make results but often fail and get bitter because their real inner value is that of a “slave/victim mentality”. Those who think everything is a coincidence ought to reflect just a few minutes in an honest way and their stubborn illusion will crack.

The group who believes that everything is predetermined and controlled by another power than themselves will get rid of this frustration when realizing that we don’t need to be able to control everything to call ourselves free: THIS RATHER OUGHT TO BE CALLED THE QUEST TO PROVE  THAT ONE SELF IS GOD AND THAT ONE SHOULD THEREFORE HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE EVERYTHING INTO A CONDITION IN ONES FAVOR. It seems obvious that the answer to this is that we should define freedom in another way: A way that leads us to be happy in the way we were designed to and that we are free to change the factors that bring us this happiness, if only we believe and act AND AN IMPORTANT THING: UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAVE TO FOCUS ON JUST A FEW IMPORTANT BASIC VALUES AND REMAIN LOYAL TO THOSE IN ORDER TO BECOME TRULY HAPPY AND FREE, FREE FROM THE WORRIES OF TRYING TO CONTROL THE UNIVERSE AND THE FOLLOWING DESPAIR AND HATE TO GOD WHEN THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN.

Getting back to the “deterministic slave mentality”, I  believe to a large extent that it is this writing off ones responsibility that also leads to the decay of the moral, reflected in overindulgence in different substitutes for love and the quest for truth and happiness, e.g. sex with random partners and in a decreasingly bizarre and insensitive, egoistic way, drugs, alcohol, obsessive shopping and focusing on items but never finding the one that makes one happy, lying and fooling other people, being tough to others etc. as a way to take revenge because one feels like a victim.

The reason that people overindulge is that they have felt or still feel a big loss in their life, a loss I am convinced of, is related to the basic values such as love, respect, trust, honesty etc. Maybe the loss is not realized by the individual but felt and therefore sought eliminated or soothed with the help of an increasing amount of drugs, replacement behavior, sex etc. Since those superficial and empty substitutes are not basic values, increasing the amount will never eliminate the loss of for example love. That is the reason that people desperately aim to get recognized and accepted by offering their body for sex. However sex is not a basic value but an instrument to express the basic value: Love.

Without love in the picture sex becomes empty and looses its function and people overindulging in fornication try to change sex or make it more bizarre, in a desperate attempt to fool themselves to believe that they can get satisfied and thereby find the ultimate happiness. The truth is that they remain empty and hungry, but not for sex. They just are too proud or blind to admit it and frequently defend their beautiful “free“, status as single or as having a liberal superficial sexual relationship.

Sex without love becomes a mere instrument to maintain an egoistic illusion of being satisfied or being worth something, due to the desire expressed by the sexual partner. Isn’t it just two people, equally desperate to get attention, therefore creating illusions to satisfy this need to be loved? They confuse love with sex, when the truth is that they prostitute themselves.

Why does society defend this sexually bizarre behavior as being OK: Why is it OK to broadcast foolish and vulgar/perverted TV series where everyone has sex with each other? It should be called a disease. I would describe it as an epidemic caused by a deficiency on basic values leading to a deflation of the dignity and self esteem, reflected in a lack of respect of ones own life and body and meaning of ones life.

How can people fool themselves anymore if they suddenly open their eyes and realize that its not because they are so important and fantastic that some casual person of the other gender wants to have sex, but simply because that person also wants recognition and to nurture the illusion of being important and loved? It is the need to be loved which is the underlying motivation for this need. But the way to satisfy the need in superficial careless ways is completely wrong and disastrous. That kind of intimacy has no beauty and romance to it. It is an empty ignorant illusion, not related to love at all. It is an ego trip.

So the answer lies just up front: To believe in a meaning of life and a free will to choose and grasp this meaning and ripe the reward (that we have inherited from birth but decline) in the shape of happiness and higher awareness, opening up doors to a new understanding and revelation of the purpose and meaning of life and the ways of God: The truth. Remember that the word God in the original Bible translates into the word Love. Hence an obvious thought should be that the truth is love. I will refer to the new testament of The Bible for a clarification of the significance of love in all its aspects. And love herein is defined in 4 ways and not like the modern way as the romantic or rather sexual kind of love, whereas I see sex as an underlying implicit part of the act of sharing love with ones wife and partner.

Also I think one should still apply the rule of sex after marriage but in the sense of being loyal to the woman that one settles with and consider it a marriage in the eyes of God, despite no matrimonial ceremony has taken place. Not to get married is a modern phenomenon which should not be used as an excuse to commit fornication and ignore loyalty. Therefore I find it important to choose ones life partner/wife/husband with care and from the pure mindset that comes from founding ones life on basic values, of which love is the essential and overall ruling one.

Finding ones partner using egoism as the tool/means and measure will inevitably lead to a relationship depleted of true love. It will end in a casual way just like it was founded on casual grounds: Except if the miracle of enlightenment and the sparkle of true love happens and motivates both parts to appreciate each other, not in the typical desperate way, so often confused with true love, but in a calm wise manner, focused on giving love 100%, not just 50 % or even 99% (for egoistic strategic reasons). Love is not conditioned. It is pure and complete, wise and honest: An offspring from God, or the language of God, if you wish. As I think Mozart believed (that’s where I heard it the first time), so I believe that love is an expression of the highest and purest form of intelligense, not just an intellectual one.

However since we are not perfect we have to accept each others mistakes to a certain degree but still remain loyal to the basic values. We can choose to inspire each other, not control, thereby achieving a pure love based on loyalty and respect of the other ones personality and feelings.

So when sensing the partners imperfection, use the true chosen love for him/her as a motivation to await the true decision of the partner to love. Don’t run away from fear of the partner’s lack of love nor feel pushed to make compromises exempting honesty and loyalty. This only causes pain.

Demand that your partner respects your dignity and feelings, instead of compromising it and becoming desperate or seek comfort in cheating, to avoid being the first to being cheated on. Who else will tell him/her what you need? And be fair and loving when expressing those basic needs.

If true basic values were taught to people and generally accepted and understood, including love which is a pragmatic wisdom, not some silly affection based on silly emotions, then two partners would agree to the same things and no fear or doubt would exist in relationships.

- How to be Happy Quotes

So how does one learn to love without requiring anything back: The typical way of thinking?

Actually to love unconditionally and not exhibit blind hate or aggression (unconsciousness as Eckhart Tolle some times calls it) was an instant decision I took one day as a 14 year old teenager (25 years ago) since my eyes were suddenly opened and I was able to see the madness and egoism of it (despite I had learned that behavior from society).

However my detailed knowledge (the application of this sudden enlightenment) came to me gradually as I learned to think in big terms (holistically if you wish), thereby also establishing a more pragmatic understanding of situations that normally cause pain. It came gradually from understanding why the deep good values are important and why it’s catastrophic to deny them. It should seem evident that it takes some time to learn to think in a broader way since people are constantly being bombarded with information inheriting an egoistic view on life, always focusing on what the benefits are for the single person and always evaluated in the light of money and power.

How can people understand the sense in loving unconditionally when we all have become so brainwashed with egoistic values or rather views? I use the term views since in my vocabulary values ought to have some substance to them and have a bigger significance than the egoistic pursuits of the individuals.

Examples are: 1) The whole focus on the economy and the common belief that companies have to outgrow all the competitors in order to be successful. Doesn’t it seem so absurd and aggressive that modern business people define success from how dominant they are in terms of not letting other competitors have a single change to make a good earning without always being stressed and fearing bankruptcy? 2) What about the mindset that it’s only OK to be number 1 but lousy to be number 2? What about the rest of us, if it’s so lousy to be number 2 or 3?

I think that if one looks for a basic happiness, it is evident that one should not look for it in this kind of environment of total war. Perhaps it’s the brainwashing of all the employees performed by the employers throughout the ages, which has become such a fundamental view amongst people that even employers define themselves in terms of how many hours they work. This implies that the “values” once invented by the employers to give their workers the needed opium, a golden dream of becoming important, by paying the price of slavery, have now become adopted by the employers themselves. If I were to be a boss I would prefer the old version involving a lot of playing golf. Isn’t this whole idea of rushing for the sake of rushing, just too ridiculous? What on earth is that concept about if it’s not a remnant from someone who once really wanted others to do the work for them and subsequently the world adopted this concept of working like a crazy simply for the sake of working like a crazy and applied it to all facets of life.

What I really want to say with all this is to raise the question:” Is it really not possible to be happy without all this egoistic pursuit and competition? By the way, where did the expression from the Bible go: “Do to your next what you wish your next will do to you.” Perhaps the loss of this rule has its explanation in the exclusion of God in the favour of the industrialisation, where fabric owners tempted people to become hard workers and believe in science at the expense of God. This monotonous view, that the liking of science excludes God, still is strongly rooted in common belief of today. Just try to have a look yourself.

The conclusion of this article is that by being honest and loyal to the truth, at the same time as pursuing it, one will gradually understand the world in the right way, as the layers of lies will vaporize. It is so since honesty including honesty to oneself, admission and the decision to only settle with the truth assures that no lies or false views will be spread or used as means of getting popular or for the sake of personal winning. Did you ever hear someone talking proudly about a subject that this person didn’t have the faintest clue about? I am sure the answer is yes. What is the motivation for talking about a subject that one doesn’t understand and is very unsure of (it might be a person giving false direction in the traffic or someone giving doubtful info over the phone)? The answer must of course be pride and the need to become recognised. This is a clear example of lack of loyalty to the truth for the sake of scoring cheap points, on short term but surely not on long term.

I have noticed that gurus within different fields including marketing have one thing in common: They emphasize the construction of trust and they even claim to be honest without requiring anything in return from anyone specifically. The reason that they earn fortunes and become gurus is that apparent honesty works.

The truth works and sometimes what looks like the truth works. It’s because people don’t like to get fooled by hustlers and since by wanting to build a relationship based on truth and trust then there is no false intentions shining through to the prospects to customers. But this was just to mention a small but clear example of honesty without getting to the core about the basic truth. It was simply the first idea that popped up in my mind.

We could also take a relationship as an example. Despite of the obvious importance of building trust many lie to their partner anyway and in the worst cases cheat on them then pop into their regular bed at night pretending things are just all right. Or they lie to get popular, play games of masculinity or superiority, perhaps of fear from not appearing to be the man their woman wishes.

The thing is that being loyal to truth doesn’t just work in a church. It works in general, simply because the search for the truth guarantees a high degree of success since the rate of being right about things increases. Hence by being loyal to the truth, thus always striving to defend the true picture of things despite of the loss of short term gains, will assure happiness and inner peace and if one has the free intention to create something (one might not have that ambition), it also will assure success, in business and in any endeavor.

It is so simply due to…

• the low amount of mistakes pertaining to this mindset of following the truth and not least
• since by being honest and complying with the laws of the universe and our maker, the universe will be on our side and make things happen.

Of course the success also demands that there be no contradictions between the personal goal and the personal basic values. Thus if earning money seems to be against the personal values there is a conflict which makes it practically impossible to realize this personal goal. Personally I don’t see a problem in money, but I see a problem in the way people think about money and what purpose they have for possessing a lot of it.

Getting back to the example with the gurus, the truth is of course not determined from whether one has success in fooling people to waste their money on a useless product. Nor will the truth prevail if the egoistic need to be right is the basic motivational factor for convincing oneself and others about the truth of ones own theories.

To see and understand the basic truth starts with the certainty of very basic things and gradually the picture expands to comprise more details of life and the objective reality that we live in which doesn’t depend on the individual view and varying filters of the person who observes. I talk about the truth which can be read in between the lines of how the world is perceived today (in an intellectual ego based manner), and despite of that collective view. Everyone has a different life and I believe that we need to adjust our filters to remove the blurred vision that comes from all the wrong information that has been forced onto us externally. The world has a lot of useless information, useless since it is subjective blabbering based on pride and individuals request of fame. We need to only focus on info that has value due to being based on the truth.

The good thing is that once we have decided to open our hearts to this classic and never out of date wisdom of God, then everything will be easy to grasp and nothing will seem difficult and will not give stress anymore because one will know what matters and what is not important and the world will not seem such a confusing chaotic world anymore because one accepts its current state, while staying on the right path with true faith and insight (not as an intellectual within a certain topic but on a much deeper level: Entitled to the denomination wisdom).

I believe that the results of the biggest geniuses came from a complete surrender to the truth and from observing the world and the universe objectively. They simply wanted to understand this world that we have come into and their desire to know just a fraction of the whole picture was stronger than their request for fame. Their curiosity prevailed and I believe that their great results to a high degree owes to this loyalty to the truth instead of egoistic values.

On the other hand I believe that many more or less famous persons have misled people, simply because their desire to become famous and admired was stronger than their loyalty to the truth. They probably convinced themselves in the same way as Hitler or Stalin convinced themselves that they were right about their ideas but finally fell from the pedestal after having been an important piece in a bad war. An example of how people can be mislead is the very fundamental change of science conducted by Einstein who proved that the old physical laws were only valid under certain circumstances, namely at velocities much under that of light.

This shows clearly that one should not always believe in the final proofs and I believe we should always be aware of the ulterior motives behind proof.

An important historical turn was the tough and proud rejection of the existence of God, a vital change in belief and values, that never the less was accepted by people in general as the industrialization made its impact. Today the scientific technocracy, accompanying – and financed by commercial interests, has the role of teaching people the truth. Thus the scientific front runners have a big responsibility for humanity.

However I don’t judge anyone specifically, since everyone is unique, but I point at some basic built in flaw of some inflexible authoritative system rooted centuries back in time, who’s incentives I think ought to be reevaluated.

In fact cutting edge discoveries, reforming everything, were only accomplished by intelligent people who dared challenge existing beliefs of their fellow colleagues and members of the scientific society.

So shouldn’t we be happy about the good things that the technological society has to offer? Things are never black and white and there will always seem to be good cases. I am questioning the motives and values behind todays development and why not combine the strength of both the intense scientific quest on one side with faith and basic sound values on the other side in order to have things move in the right direction. Despite of those values lacking in todays manifest of development I believe that some strive for those ideals with genuine humane intentions.

However as the Bible says I believe it’s impossible to serve God and mammon at the same time. The focus will always lie somewhere. Society uses money but why put the focus there.

I am convinced that when in harmony with the basic laws of God, which fall under love as the all governing one, then getting success is an easy and joyful game, including to benefit financially from using ones talents for a course.

However I also believe that humans have some built in flaw which frequently make them fail and “sin” when striving for perfection. I believe this flip over effect owes to people deeply not believing they are good enough while wanting to be perfect and thus this inner conviction of not being perfect while striving for the same causes them to rebel and go to the other extreme when suddenly giving in to this inner conviction. It’s like a negative cognitive circle just waiting to get fulfilled when things don’t seem to go as well as the criterias of the perfectionist dictate.

The solution is to acknowledge our imperfection and that we don’t know everything but instead focus on going in the right direction and do the necessary things without the constant need to be admired as important and perfect. If we acknowledge the basic values of love then we should stick with them instead of allowing other people to push us in other directions for egoistic purposes and suddenly find ourselves doing things in conflict with our good deep convictions.

In short we should not seek to control the world and ourselves to be perfect but use our deep faith in good values to guide us and stay loyal to those, despite of other peoples egoistic pressure. No fear and control but values and a genuine willingness to comply with them.

My hope with this article is that it will contribute to an understanding of the need for mutual acceptance, love and respect as a replacement for the overall ruling egoism which governs life today.

Factors that cause the lack of those good deeds include the fact that people don’t search for the truth, don’t believe in God and a meaning, don’t have father figures and therefore try to define their own values, usually with catastrophic consequences now or on longer term since they assume that copying society is a must or at worst invent a terrible truth that endangers others. People generally construct their identity and values by copying society, thereby copying all of its mistakes, including a lack of values, an overall negative outlook (to a high degree caused by the medias which take this angle for commercial reasons) and last but not least the slave/victim mentality.

Examples of these traits are that people smoke, drink, take drugs, fornicate and even steal the partner of their “best” friend or cheat on their partner despite of all the warnings and obvious bad consequences of exceeding the limits of what one exerts onto oneself or others. But taking a look at the obvious contradictions of society it’s understandable that people, not being given basic values, just decline into a general negligence.

Examples include the acceptance of drinking despite of the danger of alcoholism. At the same time drugs are being banned while on the other hand the debate about legalizing marijuana and hashish goes on in various countries. The health authorities are shouting at people to not eat fat, while not restricting the production of processed poisonous foods, not banning smoking and even recommending 1-2 glasses of wine everyday, probably due to some wine liking doctors intentions (and of course that of the producers), since alcohol is a poison to the body, and poison is poison, not something you ought to take just a bit of (not talking about homeopathy where toxics in very diluted amounts are used to cure illnesses). Thus if the argument is that the purpose of drinking wine is to get the flavones / flavonols / flavonoids one should choose other sources than alcoholic drinks. I could go on and on but I think you got the picture. Luckily the good qualities of red wine are within reach as supplements in multivitamins for example.

Maybe you felt exhausted from the perspectives of the picture of the dark side of society I just painted.

Don’t worry!

I have very positive good news for you.

You simply have to take a decision to not identify your success according to how much you resemble the lifestyle of society. Instead start defining your success from the degree to which you live up to the standards of the true values. So get honest and take a decision about how you think things should be and which behavior and actions you choose, despite of others choices. The hurdle of getting out of old habits and conviction is the only thing holding you back. You are free as a bird to do what you want and believe me that no one will put you in prison if you start being proactive and follow good decisions, not meaning that you have to rescue the world but simply be consistent with the basic values: Love, honesty, respect of God, others and of course yourself and the life you are the protector of and especially your family if you have one.

The way to convince oneself about the right thing in believing in a meaning, in being good to each other, in loving fully is to try to experience the happiness and inner peace this shift in mentality and actions causes. It’s about eliminating all the character defects and without a true desire and decision to do so one will never succeed. So again it’s the loyalty to truth which will assure ones flexibility to change to the better and become truly happy. Its all about believing in the basic laws lain out by our creator and using our freedom to act and create beautiful things in life as well as being happy which is our true element, happy in a deep and insightful way, happy trusting God and about taking responsibility and ownership of our lives.

When people choose to pursue bad ways of living or ways of living including negative or extreme life views, for example speaking about death and idealizing even killing, it’s a free choice. They simply don’t have the right to defend themselves with referring to their background. Everybody knows when something is bad or good. They just are not being honest and lie to themselves and others to suppress the truth. Therefore it’s egoism that makes one choose a lifestyle that might cost the life of another person one day.

I know that in some cases of extreme neglect some bad behaviour may lie in the unconscious grounds despite the person has done absolutely everything to be good. It is a very tough situation, not least since that unfortunate person usually gets judged to be a bad person. Let us pray for them, send some positive energy and compassion their way. Their life is difficult despite they are not lazy but fight at the outer extreme of existence.

So many things are to gain by making a positive choice. Speaking from an egoistic perspective the person will gain true inner peace and happiness, and rest assured: He will definitely not feel weak. It’s those with a bad intention and opinion who feel weak; that’s why they want to manifest themselves all the time.  They try to convince themselves and everybody that they are right and that other people are waste able and that it’s ridiculous to believe in something except themselves and glorify themselves without reason, just for the mere eccentric conviction that they must be the center of everything around which everything evolves. But this ridiculous egoistic conviction doesn’t make it true.

The result is that they become desperate and seek recognition every single moment and make life a hell for those around. If we include the idea that every action has a consequence that sooner or later connects with all corners of the universe then they ought to consider the impact of their actions very carefully. For the same reason I believe strongly that every decision counts and has huge effect, especially when a person tries to convince those around in a strong and effective way. Therefore one shouldn’t neglect the impact of neither good nor bad deeds. Even the thoughts should go in the right direction or it’s just a matter of time before those crazy secret convictions will materialize and harm someone.

The mindset is the predecessor of actions. We should not consider ourselves pure just because we haven’t been discovered yet, to have bad thoughts. We should worry about programming ourselves; brainwashing ourselves every time we take decisions to judge and act from egoism instead of doing what we inside know should be done, regardless of the actions of other people. It doesn’t justify one’s bad deeds that many others do it. It’s the thinking so that makes this movement of the masses continue. Let me refer to what I mentioned earlier on: One is free to live the life one decides. This is a basic truth and you better start realizing it before your life is up.

To copy other people’s mistakes and ignorant lifestyle and view is at the responsibility of the individual. It is exactly the same factors that keep wars and hate to people of other nationalities and religions go on. Who is more right? Who is to judge that? I will say that those who claim to own the truth and who for this reason treat others badly, they are guilty as hell. Why should we believe their claims about knowing the truth, when, in the name of this “truth“, they act badly without respect for those that they haven’t convinced yet?

If everyone took the free decision to say: “I don’t want to contribute to killings so I don’t volunteer to become soldier and there won’t be a need for soldiers since those from all countries think alike, then the world in theory would be a beautiful place with space for happiness based on the truth, the same truth that makes us alive today. Not the “truth“, of those who arrogantly claim to know things better than our maker or that everything is a coincidence without meaning and just. If things don’t go right in life it’s a lesson for us all to start choosing the good values and follow the truth, instead of inventing false truths based on egoism, with the purpose of feeling important.

How happiness affects your health:

I will now explain how the above achieved happiness will affect your health in a dramatic way.

Acting according to the truth that you stay loyal to, will immediately cause a decrease in your stress level. We might have learned the skill of suppressing our bad consciousness of not acting properly to a subconscious level. However this subconscious stress goes on just the same and depletes you of a lot of energy and the congenital inherited natural condition of being happy.

By following my advice, you will transform your life and those around you and harvest all the benefits including happiness, love, a fantastic health and a true strong dignified identity, your true self blossoming.

See the continuation and my suggested steps in: “Spiritual Prayers and Enlightenment Ideas to get Happy, Healthy and Successful“.

Good luck. May our loving creator bless you!

Dines, December 2009

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Filed under: Healing Cure • holistic cures • Love • Mental and Emotional Health • Spiritual Healing Cure

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