relationship dependency Relationship Dependency Healing CureIn todays world it is unhealthy to depend on others: Relationship dependency, meaning all kinds of dependence on other persons, is bad.

Nor is it good to identify with a role, which is ok only if accepted enough by others: It could be a title or a more or less obsessive need to be popular and accepted. So is there a healing cure? I’ll tell.

After I wrote and reread this I decided to add this: Don’t just read this as an intellectual debate, but as inspiration and some suggestion of a better alternative. Keep in your mind that life can be simple and beautiful as you read. That is my true intention.

Why Relationship Dependency is Bad

Why is relationship dependence so bad? Is it not an expression of love? It is bad since with todays globally accepted “values”, no one share common deep values and everybody define their own ideas of what can be done and what is fair; all based on smooth arguments of justice that the brain makes up so conveniently and aided by society’s norms of justice. The goal, though being egoistic in its nature, kind of facilitates the process of justification.

In my eyes that is a typical outspread weakness of the modern ego: To work in these deceitful ways due to a stubborn clinging to main stream egoistic values, meaning a close to collective dysfunctional hostility and paranoia resulting in always aiming for proof of ones superiority and worth to others while never being satisfied.

It is a kind of general neurotic behavior with the cause being egoism causing blindness (not to say ignorance). People just only prefer using that etiquette for people with visible symptoms; people that have given up on hiding their weakness and inner despair.

The character defects of the modern ego include being hostile, egocentric and often bordering to majority complexes (or the complete opposite when comparing one self to others), disregarding others, ignorance with regards to love and justice, vanity, dishonesty, dependency, greed and the need to be number one while suppressing others. Let’s just call it egoism from now on.

Yes, I know so many say that egoism is important for having success. Let them believe so but don’t buy it! It is a word of mouth argument without truth inside. It is a defense mechanism triggered by the resistance to change, including assimilation of new knowledge. Do you also want to take that blinding alley? If so then don’t read more.

These character defects and others have been nurtured for eons of time. Probably it has part wise arisen due to people at some point in time having taken that route in their mind, probably people with power and something to prove.

Followingly they have influenced people to follow those thoughts and it has become a global epidemic starting somewhere and very likely having been spread due to the colonization of the world and due to earlier wars and the accompanying need to find arguments to hate those living on the other side of some invented border.

Dependency & Fame or Enlightenment

In fact I am tempted to say that always running to prove ones worth to others will prevent one from getting enlightened. It is so since having success with such a superficial illusion, to only be successful if others applaud one, means one will get trapped in that alley.

In fact humanity has been trapped in this illusion for eons but worse today due to the globalisation. The globalisation on the other hand was caused by what I call the egoistic expansion thought which has taken the shape of commercialism, in todays so called humane and civilized world. (Perhaps more on that another day)

However one day one will suddenly loose that apparent fame, admiration and acceptance and will be worse than before since life might have passed without any awakening to true purposes, which definitely do not depend on others, rather on doing the right, regardless of others. It is easy to understand why one shouldn’t depend on others.

One way to understand it is to think that others really want their own best and only have their limited idea of the world and thus you allow not enlightened beings to determine whether you, who was created by our maker, is good enough.

It is evident that those are not capable of doing so. You actually abandon your freedom and responsibility and only do what you think will make others proclaim you a winner, according to the present standards.

The truth is that they, due to this egoistic mindset, will do everything in their power to be number one including to push you as far down into the mud as possible if only slightly conceiving you to be competition.

Only if you have achieved superiority according to the winning standards, they will flock around you, not from loyalty or with good wills (they don’t know what that implies) but to get their piece of the cake by allying themselves with you.

So in reality all your work to be number one results in becoming the prime target of envy from people who don’t regard you with loving wisdom but see you as a means to their own goal. How beautiful is that?

Try to remember these ideas the next time you hear the egoistic words: Growth, competition and power.

Involving love I could say to men (as to women if changing the words a bit): “Men don’t compete for a women by trying to impress her with titles or money. Be open and open your heart, give from the heart and then the woman who sees it and loves it will be ever loyal to the REAL you, not your desperate, perfect but false facade. All the women who are superficial will perhaps not be interested but are you?

No need for competition and desperate fighting to remain number one in her eyes. You wouldn’t be able to know what truly would make her forever loyal anyway, since that is her decision: And her taking such a decision from strategic calculations of power, prestige, money and importance or personal winnings, will mean a very vulnerable relationship and also a false love.

She would think she loved you but only because she doesn’t deeply understand love, and thus one day she will think it has gone and will go with another.

True love doesn’t just go away. It is based on solid rock and the values of our maker. Remember the biblical word Agape in Greek means God and love as well. Just a reminder.

Also again to men: The next time you look at a woman, try to imagine her without hair and a polished exterior. Would you still be interested and still think you would love her without limits?

I know sometimes women cut their hair short, not because they are without vanity but because they feel superior and want to show it in this way. They know that you know this. They did that test for you already.

Well there are many other reasons, such as being tired of long hair, tired of the stereotypical view on how a woman has to look, but this is one of them.

Vanity and egocentricism is a wrong alley to go down, but lack of self esteem and tendencies to feeling guilty and inadequate, usually originating in childhood, is also a wrong alley to take. One should base his self esteem on his heart, thoughts and good behavior.

Good behavior without good thoughts is not good enough. It is just a facade. Better to know which thoughts and values lie behind the actions than be deceived by a possible mass murderer who suddenly hates you enough to kill you, due to internal wrongful thoughts.

How Judging Killed Mutual Trust and Made Relationship Dependency Dangerous

The fall from innocent pure values

Just before I talked about what happens if you allow the externals to judge you and depend on others to recognize you and approve of you. “You actually abandon your freedom and responsibility and only do what you think, will make others proclaim you a winner, according to the present standards.”

For the same reason we always hear the phrase: “Don’t judge others.” It is an old truth that shows why we should not depend on others, since it means we are vulnerable to their judgments.

How can you judge others when you don’t know the whole story and don’t have the overview. People obsessed with judging, well whole countries obsessed with judging, are not giving the people a chance to improve.

So since we can’t wait for people to stop judging in general, most people don’t look for – or care about God anyway, then we have to stop relying on the good will of people, which will hardly ever come: Unless we remove competition from their life which will give them an empty peaceful space and make them wonder what to do with it.

Not to be pessimistic but to begin with they would probably look for problems and troubles since this is the ways of the ego centered mind, so closed to faith and a higher good meaning and freedom.

So in short: You can show good will but don’t expect it from others. Be open to the possibility but don’t rely on it or let unfulfilled expectations make you bitter and destructive. Have faith but keep the wisdom: That most are unenlightened and don’t have the intention or belief in doing good. Their behavior mostly reflects the norms and limitations they have been raised with such as fear of imprisonments and fear of not being accepted by others, since loneliness is a tough one. But deeper motivation is hard to find.

Society being based on such a lack of wisdom means it is highly vulnerable to even small fluctuations which easily removes the thin motivations of people to abstain from doing very bad things to others. It can be disasters or shift in power that makes people loose respect and fear of justice and their seemingly nice behavior vanishes like vapor at the light of the sun.

Why are people dependent on relationships?

The seed of relationship dependency is initially laid in life situations where love is absent and a person senses the basic lack of love and acceptance. However the argument for keeping this weakness and false need alive, is the egoistic mindset that people are raised with and taught by society.

It is the interpretation of the life situation that causes the reaction which is a desperate attempt to feel accomplished and recognized as number 1.

This false belief causes people to seek self esteem externally and from people and bureaucracies that don’t have a clue about the deep important values of life.

Humans wrongly adapt the view that society is what one should learn from and follow in order to be worth something.

How to fulfill the inner needs

The basic needs of love and acceptance would automatically be fulfilled in the perfect world regardless of achievements and public agreements as to what is success and who is successful. It would come alone from seeking to comply with the truth and basic justice of our universal origin.

The same superior power that granted us life also gave us the possibility to feel happy and accepted, but not based on egoistic peoples judgments and shortsightedness of mind.

I wish to postulate that: In this world of no teaching of basic truths, a world of powers counteracting the belief in a supreme creative power from which we origin and through which we are connected, one is better of loosing all that apparent success and awaken to a more basic and clean reality with no facades and false categorizations of people.

The Bible says: “You cannot serve God and mammon.” It means what it says: You can earn money but not serve them. God should be of the first priority.

Freedom from Victimization

You could also imagine the perfect world as one of true justice where people are responsible and not judged but free and realizing their space to develop and do their absolute best, instead of playing hopeless suffering victims of coincidence.

They are only victims of their own lack of willingness to know and follow the truth, which grants happiness. But it hardly can be called victims since they are free to choose. They simply have stubbornly decided to be loyal to people’s and society’s lack of values, paradoxically enough.

A wise person knows that no matter what other evil tongs say, they are not truly capable of – or entitled to judging another, and so one is untouchable through that knowledge, not intellectual guessing but intuitively knowing (means knowing as doing and being).

So knowing AND understanding this deep truth frees one to ignore the evilness of others. It frees one to continue doing what one has discovered are meaningful purposes, without hating others but taking the right measures to not let them influence ones wellbeing.

So if for some reason you don’t feel good somewhere, do one of the following three things: Change it, accept it or leave and don’t even look back. I have literally practiced that in my life.

How to deal with loss in life

When loosing something one thought to be precious, which showed to have been an illusion not worth fighting for, then despite of realizing this and getting up on the feet, there might still be some grieving.

This grieving however pertains to a deeper lack in life, not the lack or loss of a specific person. If one knows what is important in the universe then one will accept things and have faith in the greatness of the life and existence and the grief will be replaced by inner peace and wanting to know the higher order of things better.

One will have faith in our maker and the universal laws, and accept some failed earthly things while still doing the right, instead of getting bitter. One will learn to have faith, when learning to accept things and understanding that action backed up by good will will lead to good results and replace bitterness, delusion and hate inherited in thinking as a victim. I already defined “victim mentality” and it has got absolutely nothing to do with outer appearance. It is referring to the way of thinking, not the apparent attitude.

Loyalty to our universal source means true freedom

One will become free from dependence while remaining loyal to the true deeper power, who in the Bible calls itself “I am that I am” according to the bible, or many original variations such as Jahve Iahve, Jehova Iehova, Yehohva, Yau, Iau, Iah etc depending on the local dialect of places where Gods name was pronounced.

So if there is some deep problem I don’t mean just leave your wife or husband. That is something to work with if there is will on both sides.

What I mean is: There is no reason to try to fit into some crazy judgmental environments if you inside know it is not fair, not good for you. You could be waiting until grass would grow on the moon, meaning forever without seeing changes.

Loving unconditionally

Before you have done absolutely everything you could without judging the other, and therefore holding back love for that reason, you are not in a position to judge the other. Therefore saying that love is unconditional makes sense. One should not love because the other does this or this.

One should decide to love and then be loyal to the love. It’s easy when love is profoundly understood and integrated in ones life view and behavior.

Love is the most basic of the true values. It encompasses them all. Who would for example lie or be disloyal if following true love?

Again I wish to repeat that love is NOT to be defined as some affection, romantic behavior, tickling sensation and emotions. Those things are just signs of surrendering to the other and DECIDING to BELIEVE in the other as some kind of perfect savior, completing one’s self image.

But it is not true love if not based on deep wisdom, fairness and loyalty. Therefore one should DECIDE to love in a wise manner instead of allowing oneself to become a victim of illusions that make one feel good despite of not being based on commitment or truth. Such sentiments are rather egoistic illusions that involve the requirement of the other to live up to subjective expectations in order to qualify for this relationship of “love”.

You often see this false “love” reflected in films as some character feeling lucky and happy and flying on a cloud, but in reality happy on a wrong and fragile ground which often breaks and is only won back by overcoming the most impossible tasks by the hero. True love is as said not conditioned. It is wise, not pompous, not naive and illusory, not egoistic, not coincidental: When established it doesn’t break since it is founded on truth and true values that assure its longevity.

Just to analyze a bit more. When the hero in the film feels happy it usually is based on a feeling of relief from having won an impossible lottery. He sees love as “luck” and a coincidence and fights to keep it, when in reality love is neither luck nor an illusion that has to be maintained, neither so by fighting.

It is an agreement among other things to give space to the partner and loyalty and this oath is the base of true happiness. In that way the love partners live in happiness without fear of having to defend the relationship or marriage since both parties are responsible beings and if anyway one should show to not live up to that responsibility the blame should never be put on the loyal part if having done the best but on the disloyal part for not having given space and inspired the other to improve.

Love is not about requiring perfection from the other but about giving space to develop and improve. Its not about betraying the other if the egoistic requirements are not met. Thats simply disloyalty based on illusions of being right, without even giving the other a chance to improve. Typically that is what I have observed in society. It doesn’t surprise me that relationships are so short lived or false. Also what stops after 10 years should never have been started. Or one or the other part has heavily disregarded their oath of loyalty.

Therefore sex should wait until marriage. It is extremely wrong to let sex, such a superficial thing which everyone can do without problems, determine whether a couple stays together. Sex is the reason that most relationships are very wrong. They are illusions maintained for egoistic reasons without the bravery of good virtues such as honesty, wisdom, patience, loyalty, sweetness, giving instead of requiring and taking.

What is usually and wrongfully obeyed is some illusion of a perfect match due to the illusion made by the parties when having intercourse. Often having sex without knowing each other deeply, means that the two surrender to some illusion that they create themselves and perhaps facilitated by some manipulative behavior of the other part to complete the illusion of perfection and to motivate the surrender to affection.

It is nothing but a naive intimate commitment based on egoic, thus unintelligent considerations.

There is no magic. It is all made up by the mind, almost as if worshiping some self created god. The creation of this illusion is perhaps motivated by having felt lonely or unappreciated for longer time, which on the other hand might owe to some chronic resistance to GIVING; and who never gives never gains.

Many live in fear of loosing something such as their false illusory identity, dignity or the feeling of being a winner etc. Despite of wanting everything from others and almost expecting it as an obligation, they are not willing to give at least from the heart.

Therefore they hesitate with having normal open relationships with the other gender and therefore the contact gets so clumsy and based on fear and the idea of having to be perfect to not loose.

Also the idea that friends of the opposite gender should never engage into a love relationship is ridiculous since that would be the most natural and wise decision. Who said that ones wife or husband can’t also be ones best friend?

In fact I think that should be an obvious choice. The reason for this mis perception is that love is not understood correctly and instead as some relationship of illusions of perfection serving to feed the egos egoistic and unwise requirements, thus taking the attention away from the things that matters.

Love should be a decision involving acceptance. Thus if the other part makes mistakes, and if the ego is suppressed, those mistakes are no problem but are easily corrected and therefore the other should be patient and accepting and love is exactly that. If this space exists as well as the good will to improve then improvement will take place.

If on the other hand the egoic judgments are prevailing, no space is given and transformation is blocked by defense mechanisms and lack of the necessary equilibrium to change or create better habits.

True love gives space for transformation and enlightenment and increased holy love. It doesn’t minimize sexual pleasure which people turning to more extreme and bizarre sexual experiments believe. They try to solve their emptiness with exaggeration of sex despite the base on which pleasure should be founded, love, isn’t existing.

Of course we were created to feel pleasure but the first thing to focus on is love. That is the foundation and the holy marriage. Sex alone is empty and meaningless and superficial. In itself it is nothing but a blind alley and no path to deep happiness and pleasure.

Many people basing their destiny on the false ego would disagree I know, and perhaps defend some superficial proud “happiness” gained from a single life based on apparent success, lots of bloated self esteem, little tolerance for others and superficial occasional pleasures with the opposite gender.

The truth is, they don’t understand the power of the true values of life, the universal rules of true success, which are not egoistic and don’t cause others to suffer. They are chasing bobbles as if they were everlasting and precious, while in fact they can burst any moment.

The consequences of unholy relationships

Everything natural on which a solid relationship ought to be based, gets lost in egoic illusions and as a result we truly can talk about coincidental relationships that have been forced by fear, greed, cravings, the urge to feel important and the need to possess something and receive.

Those are risky games causing a lot of pain in the world, not least for the children that are based on such shortsightedness and superficiality.

It seems paradoxical that many couples raise children while not believing in/knowing the meaning of life and the power of life. It’s wasted existence. No, not wasted since if not seeking a purpose and aiming for fulfilling pure motives, they will serve as extras, as background noise and troublemakers which can inspire the awakening of others who suffer at their hands and deeds. One needs to think in a non ego based way to comprehend this. It all serves some purpose.

However some couples make at least some transformation when realizing the responsibility that is required from parents. At least some minimum of change usually accompanies the necessity of not risking to appear bad parents, again an egoic motive coming into the picture.

But if one manages to overcome and eliminate the ego and fear of being seen as bad parents, then a much deeper and more true responsibility, not seeming a burden but a welcomed responsibility based on love and appreciation, replaces the ego.

Again this transformation all depends on whether the greedy ego gets seen for what it is and thus defeated: An illusion that the thoughts, memories and subjective interpretations is ones true identity and perhaps even the universal ‘truth’, depending on the size of the ego.

True Success

In fact the more the ego dissapears and makes space for a new universal understanding, the easier it will be to comprehend all kinds of life matters in the right way. Basing ones true personality on the truth instead of self made chosen illusions, also is reflected in seeing the truth of the details of life.

To transform this into material success is yet another thing which again requires a certain prioritization and other skills. But definitely it is a good start meaning unconditioned happiness and focus on the important things. It includes the wisdom needed to avoid decaying into superficial obsessions such as money, prestige, sex, food, drugs, sport, titles, importance, recognition and always wanting to be right as a way to nurture ones false self image.

The center point will be the truth, not an illusion and coincidential choice of identity due to unintelligent assumptions and conclusions which is the consequence of identifying with form and ones brain. The latter choice is weakness and fragility. 

Usually success is sought fulfilled in an obsessive way and perhaps even within a totally wrong profession in the first place. Thats how the world is today.

A person who bases his life on the truth, meaning who gains control over his ego and eliminates it’s control over his true free spirit, will not be obsessed with success as such but choose in a more wise manner and create success based on a deeper real intelligence.

Someone said about the ego which consists of ideas:

Only the wise possess ideas; the greater part of mankind are possessed by them.’

— Samuel Taylor Coleridge

 

The hopelessness of todays politics

Back to waiting for another to change basic values. Changes of that kind are slow and often not something that take place within a life time. They ought to be fed the truth with the spoon before the strong identification with the false self, the ego, gets established. I don’t speak about any ego based indoctrination but on giving space for the true self to blossom which will cast light on earth.

For the same reason I believe politics today is wasted powers without results. Often voting seems indifferent since no one is truly capable of knowing if the one being voted for is just good at appearance or is truly as good as he says.

I believe politics would serve its original intention and purpose only if based on more basic values instead of the actual superficial battles about minor changes that don’t go deep enough to matter.

The only thing making sense would be to continuously regulate rules, laws and regulatives to make them comply with basic values. As things are now in all democratic countries, the law and foundation written long ago is being twisted and bend in many creative but unintended ways, due to having forgotten the original spirit and true meaning of it, and due to the modern shape and intention of egoistic powers.

It might rather be the more humble type which noone talks about but who doesn’t get elected for that reason. Anyway usually politic in a democracy is just two sides of the same coin, in many cases at least.

I know there are countries with rather pronounced differences where choosing the right might matter. But don’t they all sit around the same table, so how could some outstanding genius just enter and take away their power like that. To be invited to that table one should look rather the same as those who invited.

So excuse me but I think new radical and more basic thinking has to be made if earthlings ever intend to get anywhere of importance, other than false shows of care and nurturing.

Dependency on Fame and Acceptance

Famous or semi famous people flock around opportunities to promote themselves or maintain their recognition by doing something good.

One thing is sure, those big samaritan shows are nothing if not really backed up by a truelly altruistic and humble person without  the typical mainstream ego, of those who just wish to take as big a bite of apparent success as possible.

I believe that all we need is to create an atmosphere that says: ‘Its enough to care about those in your circles and give space to people in general.’ To have an earth of peace and where people have enough, this is sufficient and no occasional tv shows or continuous collecting of money should be relied on.’

I am watching the Olympic games. Its fun if you like to watch but I prefer to do sport myself and there is not much motion in watching the tv.

Also where are those people in just 5 years? Poor bewildered drug addicts having spend their fast earned money on some piece of fame? You answer that.

Fragility of Dependency Relationships

Let’s talk about the famous dependency of relationships: My postulate / my belief is that a typical relationship consists of one suffering desperate “victim” and the other feeling sure about his or her own superiority and therefore safe and with sure self esteem. The “victim” part only has the image of himself/herself to be a victim controlled by outer factors and thus depending on others to be happy.

Actually most people are victims in one or another way, but one is less victim with regards to the relationship due to a high selfesteem in that matter, or due to having settled in a “sure” relationship with the other being desperate, dependent and afraid of loosing.

Typically one or both of them is also very focused on the acceptance from people outside of the relationship so if breaking up with the other one, there usually are plenty of alternatives which the person has made sure exist by getting popular and showing affection to others, while not focusing on – but often rather ignoring the true official partner.

The “victim” in the relationship might fight to seem important in the eyes of the other, a fight impossible to win and inevitably leading to loss of respect and “affection” (what we usually refer to as love), since people usually confuse love with an illusion of the partner completing their own perfection.

So when the partner can’t hide the weaknesses anymore he/she looses credibility and “love” in the eyes of the stronger more selfconfident partner. It might as well be the other way around, since usually, both of them are competing the battle of superiority which they both believe in. Initially this egoic view on “love” is what brought them together and made them respect each other.

Egoic/egoistic people usually only respect even bigger egos. Equal wants to play with or worship equal or more of the same. They could be with the most loving and fair person in the world and still be rude to him and insult him in a hateful way. Thats what people did to Jesus. Thats because their egos blocked the deeper intelligence and wisdom and therefore love.

So fighting to make the other stay is a blind alley and the reason is that you can’t make an ego centered person stay (the “winner” of the relationship) but you can make him or her feel great about him self and withdrawing the process of ending the relationship.

Actually the “victim” basically is no victim, other than having a too high need for acceptance. Often this origins from earlier failed relationships including those with one or both parents, which has resulted in a desperate attempt to compensate for this memory of feeling not loved enough. Often this leads to a kind of prostituting oneself in a desperate attempt to get attention and recognition/accepted.

Therefore it might as well be the “victim” who, from fear of not getting what he/she “deserves”, starts cheating on the other and therefore is the cause of the destruction of their relationship.

It’s because the “victim” feels weak, though this is mainly an internal conviction or fear of inferiority, a complex, and therefore senses an urge to control everything into the favor of himself/herself including the love from the partner, in order to create a false sense of being strong.

But surely this is a fundamentally wrong strategy, bound to fail and strategies shouldn’t belong in relationships anyway.

Well, some relationships of that kind might last all life, despite they haven’t been founded on true love. They have persisted only because one or both were not able to find a “better” more satisfactory partner. Satisfactory to one self, but not honoring the true principles of love.

Other relationships are alternating with regards to who plays the superior role, respectively the victim part. In essence most relationships reflect society’s norms and so are small battles of superiority where giving love is equal to weakness and therefore if seeming to be love, is rather an expression of desperation or egoistic decision to give something for strategic reasons, instead of giving it to another.

Unfortunately many relationships are initiated on false egoistic grounds, desperation, are races of feeling important and desired, and therefore they will fade out fast or slowly depending on opportunities and the luck of the egocentric partner.

I don’t speak from bitterness since I have always based love on basic issues such as honesty, loyalty, mutual trust and demonstrations of love rather than on power games.

I learned that acceptance was much better than fighting to make things become in a certain way, due to wanting to feel secure. Often wanting to change the externals is related to doubt about ones worth. Consequently one seeks to create some security, for example within the relationship.

When following this path it ultimately leads to a higher understanding universal foundation which makes sense in the bigger perspective. One accompanying insight is to have faith in the future and thus never to worry. That insight, which is also reflected in the Bible, gives one an enormous freedom and flexibility.

Unfortunately relationships of today are very coincidental and fragile. People make themselves victims or egocentric winners; depending or just withdrawing from relationships as surely as the tide changes. That is unfortunately the truth and who has build some mental “we have to love everybody because every body are good and deserve to be respected” should bury that illusion.

People are not good when they decide otherwise. That is the raw cold fact.

Healing Cure for Relationship Dependency

What to do about it? We can only take responsibility for ourselves and give space to others and thereby end the vicious circle of belittled people with a vengeance; when deciding to, we stop contributing to hate and people feeling bitter and wanting to revenge.

If you don’t involve your self emotionally in their self inflicted war, they will soon wonder and stop.

But this should not refrain one from criticizing what does not work, while maintaining a cold head and not become personal and offensive.

The world doesn’t change due to naivity and wishful illusions but from telling how things stand and then change them.

I always noticed how people seemed to never rest and seemed to be running away from something.

Later I found out why. They run fast to avoid thinking about the deeper issues and values of life, which somewhere inside make them have some nagging insecurity, despite of a tough or self confident external.

The external only reflects a narrow minded egoistic approach and on close look and examination it will show to be weak and fake, such as a smoker seeming confident in himself while fighting to hide the insecurity inside.

So the conclusion is that we need to wake up to responsibility meaning to stop feeling victims and stop believing that we can’t change the life situation or who we seem to be. It is the believe in being a victim, the rejection of the truth of our supreme power and its laws, which makes people act as people without free will. They create a self fulfilling destructive circle that inevitably will have a fatal result.

They lack the faith and only believe what they see now, instead of understanding and having faith in their power to change things and create them if believing, which means exclusion of the so vulnerable and coincidental success that everybody fight about and most break their neck on.

The truth of things, what lies behind the curtains or what existence and being hangs on, is not a subjective thing, since subjective things are vulnerable. No people don’t have power over the universe but power to believe and therein lies true power. A better word than believing would be knowing since true wisdom comes from observing and knowing. Then belief is not necessary anymore.

If neglecting respect of our creator then weakness will creep in in some or another way. It always finds a way around the artificial and defeat-able fragile ego.

So don’t depend on others. Don’t be cold and indifferent to the possibility of true love and good human beings but don’t let them or your mind lure you into being fragile by identifying yourself with some role that can be destroyed. That would evidently be destroyed sooner or later: When the trend stops, when a title ends, when egoism makes the wife leave etc.

The truth is that one does not need others to be strong and happy. That is to be accomplished by aiming to do the right things regardless of what others do and without requiring anything from others.

Simply treat others how you wish to be treated. If they don’t respect you or make you feel uncomfortable, tell them or go away. They don’t have the power to control your life and happiness if you don’t let them.

If you lack faith, then when to start building it? What about now, by opening yourself up to new ideas, which you actually have, have you made it to here.

Don’t make the mistake of procrastination, a big weakness of humanity owing to a lack of prioritizing important things, laziness, lack of faith. There is an old saying which explains the importance of acting instead of procrastinating: “If you don’t do a thing now then it is equal to never doing it. “

Also how could one expect always being given the same chances for changing the life situation and life foundation, if one never trusts or follows the new better paths having been opened before one. The one without faith can not expect to be given chances all the time, since he doesn’t believe and actually rejects our supreme power.

Why should such an egoist always be given new opportunities to change for the better. In fact it is usually more likely that the person will decade more and more inside knowing why but never the less refusing its truth, due to vanity, laziness, in short egoism and the addiction to feeling right, clinging to self invented false or superficial knowledge, and therefore refusing truth.

So be strong in the name of God, no others, believe/know and act accordingly. Focus on giving, not on requiring. Have faith and receive what comes your way.

Amen

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Filed under: holistic cures • Love • Spiritual Healing Cure

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