Love is actually the essence of life. It is a goal and a means at the same time. It is the language that we were originally given as humans, who call themselves the superior of species. 

However love is long forgotten and misunderstood and therefore confused with other ways of thinking or expressing oneself, that are not the least related to the original meaning and purpose of “love”. It is also the language of animals.

A person who understands love will also be able to communicate with animals on a very basic level. I have done that myself always and I ask you to respect and love animals as humans. Believe me you will not find the mercy of God if you can’t respect his creatures.

It has become a trend and topic of intellectual conversation more than it is practiced in its original form.

It has become confused with sex to be bargained and traded and thereby obtain something such as prestige, self worth and recognition.

The word and its modern interpretation has become a symbol used for other purposes than what was originally intended.

I thought knowing 11 reasons for not loving might be in your interest, since it is so fundamental and vital to our happiness and health. So here they are …

11 Causes to Lack of Love in the World

1. Not knowing what love is due to lack of love received in childhood or reflected in the parents relationship

2. Not seeing true love anywhere in society. Love is as explained above used with a completely different significance. It’s a modern rather newly invented creation owing to the decay of the focus on moral over especially the last 150 years and closely related to the shift from believing in and loving god to having science and humans at the center of belief.

3. Lack of the teaching of basic sound values including love. Love as well as religious values are not being taught since children and students are only encouraged to the hostile competitive way of thinking in order to earn their share and contribute to the gross domestic product (GDP) and pay taxes.

4. Society is focused on the ego and not on giving thus not reflecting the principles of love

5. Not appreciating love despite of having received plenty of attention. Therefore the basic understanding of the importance of giving love and the ability to sympathize with another is highly lacking.

6. Fighting with emotional and mental problems and lack of self esteem (meaning to feel worth something), and therefore not having the surplus of energy needed to give since the attention is mainly directed towards oneself. It’s a big shame since loving doesn’t cost anything and in fact frees oneself from the imprisonment of ego centered thoughts. Loving is rewarding in a deep way (not egoistic superficial way). It causes a basic happiness due to being one with our true element (one is home so to speak). By loving one would get manifold back and it would actually dissolve many mental illusions and causes of pain, part wise due to feeling a deep purpose in life from engaging in the important act of loving. In fact the act of giving is even more emotionally rewarding to the giver than to the receiver.

7. Having been hurt and due to the modern egoistic way of regarding love, one has decided to hold love back due to innate bitterness and fear of rejection and loss from giving more than receiving. It is the attitude of the coward who doesn’t want to give before he gets, doesn’t want to believe in the truth before someone shows evidence.

   However one will never get true love if not willing to give it. It might seem that the partner loves oneself, and it might have been like that from the start when hope and the illusion of love still prevailed, but it later has turned into a desperate kind of affection, fear based and not based on certainty of the other reciprocating the love. It will only be an illusion and an unhealthy constellation of partnership with one being desperate and clinging to what appears sporadic fragments of love from the other, while the other thrive on his/her pedestal, thinking everything is right and emphasizing his/her own importance and self esteem.

   Regardless of being in a relationship, life will as a consequence of this decision become an eternal escape into substitutes for the needed but ignored love. It might become substituted by cynical cold sex which has not got anything to do with love. It might serve only the purpose of maintaining the illusion of ones importance and success with the other gender, again one of the symbols that are highly sought today including money, power, influence, respect, recognition and material wealth. So in this regard having “success” with the opposite gender though being of only the physical kind, plays the role as for example masculine power and importance if the person is  a man. After all, having a partner is considered a highly prestigious thing to many.

8. Not being with the right, but only staying with the same from fear of being alone or loosing the sense of importance accompanying having a relationship. It is often used as a stepping stone to a better relationship and better life, however often leading to a worse one since the first one wasn’t successful. It was based on egoism, at least by one of the two. It is also a modern phenomenon of not wanting to wait until it is one’s turn: A typical modern being spoiled phenomenon, highly caused by the continuous public focus on the benefits of the individual; the ego centered approach. 

9. Hating the other for not having given one EXACTLY what one had defined as being what one deserved and thus what the other ought to give one. Again the syndrome of being spoiled as opposed to following more moral and dignifying values.

   In case of following good moral values it shouldn’t be done to achieve something or look good in the eyes of others, that is only manipulating for gain. It should be done according to believing in a higher meaning and sense of doing it.

   That is the reason why it isn’t enough to just have a society proud of it’s high moral standards. Alone being proud shows that it’s the ego that is at the center and not the deeper laws of the universe, the essence of life or faith in a higher intelligence and creative power embracing us.

   In fact being proud of ones seemingly self invented moral standards is the argument that many of the apparently quite intelligent people I have met, have used as their argument that believing in god and a higher power is redundant, nonsense and some theories created due to people needing to believe in something. This erroneous putting humans ability to be moral on a pedestal is a mistake that is not realized before chaos and despair sets in, for example during war or natural catastrophes, and the moral order that was previously thought to be self-sustained by the individuals, dissolves and the true hidden law of egoism sets forth. Only at that time the most sensible people will start realizing why faith in a higher order is indispensable.

   Said in short, the reason that there exists something looking like moral in the modern society doesn’t at all owe to the intelligence and superiority of humanity. On the contrary. The good things that only rarely are seen in todays world are in fact remnants from a time when people believed in a higher meaning, respect of the elements and laws of the universe and the love of our maker, giving us life. You could say that people are like cameras sent out by god to observe the essence and matter of everything. I also believe that what doesn’t look good will serve only its purpose before being discarded as poor quality pottery (as the Bible says), or rather as individual programs that tend to deviate from the god given course.

   It is a selection of what God likes. In the beginning of the Bible upon God having created the world it says: “….and God saw that it was good”.

   That was then and many mistakes and a lot of bad pottery ago. The good pottery is still being decided by people themselves, so consciously receiving the gift that life is, using the talents and taking responsibility is the basic road to take. How? By intellectualizing and worshiping humanity? No. By looking for the deeper truth which is not egoistic but pure in its form? Yes. It is not to compare. It is perfect as is. It is.

   When I say “a higher power embracing us”, there are probably some who feel discomfort by that thought since they have inherited the common view that the world is hostile and that we ought to protect ourselves and kill possible threats and this leads to the view of God as some external power that they want to avoid and therefore disapprove of, at least in that form. It could be called an alienation of the world.

   It is funny enough also the hostile view that the western medical science has chosen: To kill things conceived as external threats, as with chemotherapy, instead of seeing the body in a holistic perspective and in connection with the surroundings and aspire for harmony and a balance therein. That principle, ladys and gentlemen, is implicit in the Chinese traditional medicine, including acupuncture that is about strengthening the body and optimizing its natural strength. In my opinion that view on the body and cures is far superior to the roots of western traditional medicine, and it works extremely well. An example is this allergy cure that works amazingly fast and completely cancels all the allergies treated, in contrast to the fact that western medicine has never found any way to cure allergy. It was without doubt the best investment I ever made in my life, and had been so too, had I payed 1 million dollars for it.

   Some confuse love with affection and an inexplicable good and warming feeling. Well that is only part of the effects of love. But it’s far from the whole story. On the contrary love is more of a fair decision built on wisdom that is far superior to modern standards of what is right and wrong, and which are based on egoistic and proud postulates serving some function such as order in the society.

   However those misunderstood interpretations of love also mean that many will lead a miserable life since in the black and white world of control, that a society is based on, there is no space for deeper fairness or moral. Yes a lot of high-sounding words are used to argue the justice of the existing system, just as a sales person does his best to sell his product as being the best in the world. It’s just a scene of acting and he who succeeds in convincing the others, wins prestige and recognition; at least from his fellow coworkers. Here is a happy love quote:

   True love is based on wisdom, not affection which is what misguides most people into having a bad love

   - How to Be Happy Quotes

10. The western colonization (expansion) idea is still inherited on a microscopic level in the single persons aggressive view and constant quest for winning and proving superiority. Living according to such a hostile concept full of hate and seeing people as enemies or possible enemies, while always being suspicious and ready to strike back or attack first, means there is no space for believing in the good in others, sympathizing with others and having compassion and not least love.

    When people seem to sympathize with others, it is often highly doubtful that there is a true and genuine intention behind the seeming goodness and empathy. Rather the ones seeming good are those mastering the skills of deceiving others into believing they are good persons, since that is a popular trend of the current epoch: To be good and helping people from the third world for instance.

    There is nothing wrong in helping but it doesn’t necessarily come from being good, neither is it a sure formula for becoming a good person since that owes to other factors as well.

    I know quite a few examples of people who on the surface seemed almost saints, were helping people in Africa and even traveling there to work, while at the same time mistreating and hurting their own family since they didn’t serve their vanity well. That is called hippocracy.

    Or examples of people who on their job or in public are esteemed and respected people that everybody think highly of, while the hidden truth is that they are psychologically or physically violent and evil to their own family at home. That doesn’t just apply to men but equally to women. Men don’t own the patent on such things. The form of tyranny may just differ in form due to the difference in behavioral patterns pertaining to each sex. The genders having equal rights also means equal levels of responsibility.

    However that being said, doing good deeds surely can change ones view from being that of egoism to an altruistic one, when seeing the results and feeling the sensation of doing something good. It can, if open to this path, facilitate the process of believing in a higher and more noble purpose than just making life comfortable for one self. After all we are social and empathic beings inside.

    The problem is just that the way of expressing these traits is controlled by egoistic needs rather than deep universal values. In fact I believe that many people would wish that the world and humans were more down to earth and more natural, more dignifying but they usually surrender to mainstream behavior since they find it impossible to engage in society’s games while believing in other values. They are right that doing one thing while believing in another causes big mental stress and makes success impossible. So why not act according to one’s fundamental belief, if good and just, regardless of the state of the population on earth?

    The bad situation of the world and all its injustice comes from not knowing love and believing in egoism. It is a big task to change such a heavy inheritance of humanity and get people in general to believe in another and better reality, instead of always just intellectualizing for own gains and do tinkering, but no revolutionizing steps, which would only arise from a shift in thinking: Actually from stopping the automatic thinking processes that humans have allowed to take over their power and thus destiny.

    Despite of the apparent good deeds it is not possible to be truly good and breaking the inherited egoistic life view, life style and behavior, without truly going back to the source and understanding the essence of the truth. The essence of goodness and love can as said not be learned by watching society and believing in society as the only truth and the peak of evolution. However, when there is a genuine underlying intention of objectively understanding the truth, observing the society becomes a useful teacher and often serves as a kind of contrast.

    Rather one ought to be very disciplined in order to not learn the mistakes and corrupted ways of thinking, pertaining to the norms of society. That is why religious groups tend to isolate themselves like foreigners coming to a hostile country. It is necessary to group, for only few people are strong enough to resist society’s pressure to align all people by excerpting political and legal power or locking them out socially.

11. Always wanting something before giving something. That might work as a negotiation strategy or sales tactic but it doesn’t work in love. Love is the opposite of this way of thinking.

12. Due to the paradoxical common belief that one who is cold and feels enough in himself, and needn’t show attention to others, is more interesting to date. Being hard to get, often trickers the attention from the opposite gender.

    But it is not true love but a desperate obsession of wanting to be with the other since it seems difficult. It’s also called the rock star phenomenon due to the typical phenomenon of women going nuts over one man who might only be interesting since so many are desperately desiring that same man due to his popularity, that it is deducted that he MUST be of importance. I hope at least that the rock star, being the center of such attention, is capable of producing good music or our ears will soon be filled with lousy music.

    Often however men who had former prestigious roles or titles are being left by the woman when he seems to be no more important. I don’t say that having an important and prestigious title is wrong. It is what is not done to nurture the relationship and love, which is the problem, apart from the possible situation that the other has solely married one to get close to that importance and only believes in and respects that identity. So when that identity dissapears, meaning the title is lost, the respect and expressions of affection go as well. I talk about affection since true love which is much deeper and wise and not controlled by affection, might never have existed in the relationship.

    To not end up in such situation, it is important to choose and nurture ones relationship wisely.

These were 12 reasons that the world and people refrain from loving truly, that I could think about by doing a quick brainstorming. Feel free to notify me of other causes that you feel are vital but miss in this list. After all this is a globally important issue.

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Filed under: holistic cures • Love

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